While in search of some peace this past weekend, I decided to pry myself out of my apartment and venture to a place I knew would provide at least an ounce of solitude.
I recently overheard that the Frist Art Museum here in Nashville was displaying some Monet, Van Gogh, Matisse, and so on. If those names don’t mean much to you, I get it – I’m no art historian either…!
But back in college, while taking an art history class, I always remember the impressionist movement sticking out to me the most. There was something about the artwork that provided a softness to the real and rigid world we live in. In ways, an escape, while also still living in reality.
While making my way through, I stumbled across this side room where prints of paintings were expanded across the walls that surrounded me – and then, much smaller, the original appeared in front of me.
Apple Harvest, done by Camille Pissarro in 1888. Oil on canvas.
As I read the description that accompanied the work, I was shocked to read that this painting took 2 years to complete…
You see, in the midst of completing this, Pissarro went on to make over 100 drawings and studies to master every single detail before delivering a final product. I felt the sides of my mouth lift upwards in the slightest.
Patience.
Pissarro had an immense amount of patience.
I always have been and fear I always will be a human who stumbles across the tiniest little sentence and feels as though it holds a certain meaning and importance in my life. I’m sure the mass majority read the excerpt and thought to themselves, – “wow, that’s a long time!”.
But somehow, in an instant, I found myself reading those words and making it into some deeper life lesson as I always tend to do… for better or for worse? I’m not always totally sure. I’m pretty sure it roots from this deep rooted need inside of myself to always understand this life we were gifted – what it all means and how it’s all going to work out.
But we can’t always know that for certain… Can we?
To say 2026 so far has been a self growth journey already would be an understatement. At a time where I felt like I’d done a lot of the inner work, I learned we’re never truly there, are we? We are never done growing.
Patience has been a common theme of this year for me and feels especially prevalent in my life right now. Although I have always trusted in the fact of what’s meant for you won’t miss you, I struggle with the idea that if perhaps I don’t do enough, it won’t happen the way it’s meant to.
Two years ago, while finishing up my last semester of college I was handed my midterm in my Principles of Sustainability class. It read – B+.
I thought I was going to die – dramatic, I know… But I was sick to my stomach. All the past years I’d spent working for a certain goal when it came to my grades felt like it was all swirling down the drain.
The bright side was this professor in particular allowed retakes upon her discretion. So, following the mid-class panic, I approached her after class, asking for her permission to retake my exam.
“No.”
My eyes widened. I was in complete disbelief. How could this be happening? I had just listened to her grant 5 other students in front of me a retake, but she is telling me no?!
How is this fair? I kept asking myself.
Immediately seeing the panic in my eyes, she asked if I had a class after hers and if I had time to take a walk.
So, on a walk we went.
She asked the hard questions – the real truths I needed to confront.
She also shared with me the first time she ever got a B in her life. To give some backstory on her, she is to this day one of the most incredible women I have ever met. She holds multiple degrees, masters, and PHDs. She has lived, studied, and worked in several different places around the world and yet also still finds time to take dance classes in her 50’s. To me, she was the definition of scholarly.
Way back when she was in college, she had met this boy, and although she knew she had an important final the next day, she chose to spend time with him instead of studying.
She got a B – her first B ever.
And after all these years, she tells me this story with a smile because to this day she claims she never would’ve done the night differently.
So, then she turned the tables over to me…
“Are you really going to lose sleep over this B?”
I told her I was – and yet she still refused to let me retake it.
She ended up telling me she was confident this one grade wasn’t going to ruin my final one. That she was confident I was going to still end the semester with an A – but that if it really came down to it, we could reevaluate in a few months and see if there was any extra credit I could do.
But regardless, I would just have to wait and see… I would have to be patient.
She made me sit in the uncomfortableness of not exactly knowing how my semester was going to end. She also taught me there was more to life than a grade, so if I did end the term with anything less than an A, I was going to be okay – although I wasn’t so sure.
Differently, around this time last year, I was losing hope at finding a job here in Nashville. I had received rejection after rejection, and when I finally had found an opportunity that gave me hope – they rejected me too…
That is until two weeks later when one of the owners rang my phone and offered me the job. Turns out one of the candidates they hired had a change of plans and was leaving the state, so she no longer could accept the job. So, I took it – and it’s what’s kept me in Nashville ever since.
But awaiting that yes… getting that opportunity… took patience.
Are you sensing a theme?
I guess all I’m saying is it’s never really been something I’ve been good at, really. I have so much passion for wanting things to work out a certain way that I feel the need to work to get it – immediately.
But that’s not really how life works, is it?
Going back to the painting that started this all – can you imagine if Pissarro didn’t take the 2 years he did to complete the Apple Harvest?
Who’s to say it would even be hanging in a museum all these centuries later?
It’s very probable if he had rushed through, instead of taking the intentional time, it wouldn’t have been worthy of hanging where it does today.
So, here’s to trusting the timing of our lives and finding patience along the way.
